The Journey of Bittersweet
The Journey of Bittersweet
Most everyone loves sweet... the taste of bitter is a different story!
As a child growing up in Germany, I disliked all bitter foods. I grew up in a traditional German household with home-cooked meals and rules. One of the rules was that we had to eat everything that was served, and if we didn't like something, we had to have at least three or four bites of it anyways. There were plenty of bitter foods on my plate, such as Brussel sprouts, kale, celery, salsify and burdock roots, endives, spinach, and in the spring, all of the fresh dandelion leaves we picked from the meadows during family outings. I would reluctantly push these foods around on my plate, sometimes shuffling them into my mouth and excusing myself to the bathroom... of course, this trick did not last long. There were some attempts to just swallow them without chewing to avoid the bitter taste, but that ended up with me gagging. As a result, I had to learn to chew, taste, swallow, and ultimately digest the bitter taste, and actually after a few years I started to love them. Little did I know at the time that all these foods were medicinal.
Why do we dislike bitter so much? Why are we so reluctant?
After all, it is one of the six tastes, along with sweet, sour, salty, pungent, and astringent. Ayurveda and Siddha teach us that bitter foods and herbs scrape fatty accumulations, such as elevated triglycerides in the blood, and encourage the flow of bile and liver activity, as well as having a detoxifying quality. Bitter also drains and dries excessive fluids, and in small quantities stimulates appetite, helping to digest and eliminate what we have swallowed. These are all important qualities to foster homeostasis, to nourish and to grow.
And then, of course, there is the bitter taste of life sometimes.
It comes in experiences of disappointment, loss, betrayal, abandonment, failure, judgment, jealousy, envy, change etc, etc. Phew! That’s a lot of bitter! And all parts of our lives, as something once sweet turns bitter. The inevitability of change. Often, these are situations we don't like feeling, tend to avoid, ignore, control, or numb. In response, we often become mechanical, or build a protective wall around ourselves in order to not fully feel, or, we start chasing unrealistic ideas to find the bliss of sweetness in the outer, which can dim our creativity/joy thus becoming exhausting. We are diminishing our fullness, our wholesomeness, and as a result feel depleted, or just never enough. Because our experiences were only ‘half digested’.
How can we digest all the tastes of life without ignoring or spitting out the bitter medicine?
First of all, what is ‘digestion’? My Siddha teacher, Pal Pandian, explains it simply: we make something that is separate from us into ourselves through digestion and absorption, and the way to do this is a journey. Digesting experiences involves dissolving them, but first, we need to fully experience them. We need to feel the bitterness, taste it, and this allows us to digest it more fully.
In order to digest, we need Agni (fire). This Agni is sustained through the breath. The natural order and intelligence in our breath keep this fire stable, and thus is cultivated as we allow the breath, instead of manipulating it or stifling the flow.
One of our basic but powerful practices is ‘Moolagni Thoondal’ (Kindling of Agni), also called ‘Pelvic Rotation.’ It is done with minimalistic movement and specific awareness, as to not become mechanical or just another ‘technique’. It cultivates sensitivity within ourselves, making us aware of what we are doing, what we are blocking or bypassing, along with our attitude towards life, allowing for the arising of effortless breath, letting it come and letting it go.
Another very practical suggestion Pal Pandian gave us is to always rinse with cold water after a warm shower. It is known that this promotes circulation, bolsters immunity, makes us alert and tightens our skin. He also points out, that this helps our ability to adapt and digest change quicker—the experience from sweet to bitter. When you start rinsing off with cold water after a hot shower, begin with your extremities first, before exposing your whole body to the cold water. I have been doing this for quite a while now, and interestingly enough, on some mornings, I find myself becoming reluctant to feel the cold rinse. My mind quickly jumps in, trying to convince me why I don't need to rinse off cold today. I usually catch myself, start laughing, and rinse off cold anyway. I feel so alive afterward.
So, after all, we can learn to savor it all and get better at it by meeting life, letting it come and go, digesting it, maintaining homeostasis, and experiencing the growth, dissolving, and blessings behind it all.
The journey of bittersweet… without the bitter, we wouldn’t know about the sweetness.
In gratitude to this miracle of life and my teacher.
This article was originally written by Jutta Hecht and first published on www.agaguru.com.
